Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
