no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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