I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
