I'm jealous of your bromance
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
