I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
