just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
