My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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