i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
