How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
