Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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