Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
