these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
