The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
