Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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