addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
