You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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