she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
