hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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