Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
