Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
