GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
