I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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