Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
