I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
