Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
