I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
