She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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