last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
