i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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