I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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