It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
