Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
