she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
The air taste purple.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
