dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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