I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
