What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
