All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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