I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
