WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
