Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
