help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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