And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
