White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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