Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
