i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
