No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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