Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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