She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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