just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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