My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
