I want to make a zoo with you.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
